#391. being blunt, burning bridges & leaving the best imprint you can

Age: 54

Relationship Status: Single

Occupation: Memorial Safety Co-ordinator

Income: Approx 27k

Astrological Sign: Capricorn

If you had an extra hour each day, what would you do with it?

I would visit elderly relatives more.

What is the best piece of advice you have ever received?

If you need to make a decision and are not sure, take the deadline away – only make the decision when you feel ready. No decision is an answer. This is my own advice that I gave myself – grace not to feel pressured!

What is the worst piece of advice you have ever received?

Rarely seek advice, tend to overanalyze, and figure things out on my own. So, no answer.

When have you felt most accepted?

At the beginning of my relationship with the father of my son. I finally felt like everyone else – in a grown-up relationship – after being single for most of my twenties. It felt like I was conforming to societal norms.

When have you felt most supported?

In the early days of that relationship, I felt loved and cherished. I felt financially secure. Ironically, it was an illusion I was still supporting myself, but I felt safer in a team. But his money was definitely his - I paid my way. But I felt he was looking after me.

Is there anything you are avoiding?

No – deal with most things upfront – I will have to go to my son’s graduation this year, and I expect to be in the vicinity of my ex-partner and the close childhood friend who got together in a cheating situation. This will be the first time in 14 years that we will be in the same vicinity. My son is more stressed than I am – time is a healer, and I’m proud of how I handled myself with dignity over the last 18 years.

Have you ever confronted a fear? How did it go?

Yes – I’ve always sat in a Spiritual development circle, and I have given messages in a public demonstration. Not what I like or feel comfortable doing. It went okay, but it’s not something I would pursue.

What is one promise that you have kept to yourself?

Be kind and always try to see the other person’s point of view. But if they cross boundaries, burn the bridge!

What is one promise that you have kept to someone else?

To look after my Dad after my Mum died.

How do you cope with stress?

Meditation, deep breathing, and the talking cure with close friends! It’s good to talk! I’m a chronic overthinker!!!

What is a moment you are most proud of?

My son is getting his A-level results and getting his first-choice university. A prestigious University in Scotland. Not bad for a single-parent family, we beat the odds.

How do you celebrate yourself?

I love my own company and treat myself to little things: a good book , a bubble bath, and a cup of tea. I will treat myself to an item if I really want it – I work hard, so it’s important to value myself.

What is something that you feel like you have to earn?

You have to earn people’s trust. Being honest, kind, and consistent is key.

What is something you feel like you are inherently worthy of?

My sons love. I have invested all my love and time, and to know how much he loves me is the best reward ever.

When was the last time you changed your mind?

My son visited from University with his girlfriend and their friend. They were going out to the local pub quiz – they wanted me to go, I said no – but they persuaded me to go!! I agreed, and we won the quiz – an oldie (me )with niche knowledge was needed!

Is there anything you wish you could take back?

I can be quite blunt, and there are conversations that I have questioned. I should not get so involved.

What does being true to yourself mean?

Speaking my truth, using my words kindly. Removing myself from places I don’t feel welcome.

When do you feel in control?

When my house is clean, and my to-do list is ticked and complete.

When do you feel out of control?

When people spring things on me at the last minute.

Finish this sentence: It’s my life and…

Leave the best imprint that you can on people’s hearts.

BONUS: Tell me something good.

The world is filled with mostly kind and loving people who are all doing their best.