#364. becoming a runner, getting laid off & being authentically yourself

Age: 32

Relationship Status: single as a pringle

Occupation: recently unemployed

Income: $0

Astrological Sign: Aries Sun, Cancer Rising, Gemini Moon (I honestly have no clue what any of that means, but it is what it is)

If you had an extra hour each day, what would you do with it?

Sleep. I don’t do it enough and desperately need to get better at going to bed on time.

What is the best piece of advice you have ever received?

“Do whatever the f*** you want!”

Choosing to live authentically has taken me some time since I’ve entered my 30s. I would rather live with the consequences than spend my later years worrying about the shoulda, coulda, woulda’s of life.

What is the worst piece of advice you have ever received?

“You will never (FILL IN THE BLANK HERE).”

Once someone tells me I can’t do something, I will fight to prove them wrong. I’ve been that way since I was a kid. I hate people telling me or advising me on what to do.

When have you felt most accepted?

This past year, I’ve been blessed to be part of such a beautiful community of people who love me for me. My community accepts me in every way, and I’m so lucky to have them.

When have you felt most supported?

Again, with my community. They check in on me because they care or remember the little things I said weeks ago. I feel supported when it’s quiet but intentional.

Is there anything you are avoiding?

If you’re talking about the mountain-high pile of laundry I’ve been avoiding for 3 weeks, then yes, I’m avoiding that.

Anything else, no.

Have you ever confronted a fear? How did it go?

Yup, recently, with being laid off. I realized that, as much as I prioritize financial stability, things happen, and sometimes they fall apart. But at the end of the day, I will always be okay. Fear loses its power when you stop overthinking about it.

What is one promise that you have kept to yourself?

To run a 5K. I wanted to prove that I can do hard things. I ran my 1st one in February of this year, and I’m already set to run my 3rd later this month. Who would’ve thought I’d be into running?!

What is one promise that you have kept to someone else?

I kept (and still keep) the promise to be there, really there, for someone when they needed me most. Even when it was inconvenient or uncomfortable. Just showing up consistently, listening, and holding space. It mattered more than anything I could have said.

How do you cope with stress?

A lot of self-talk out loud in my car. The more I verbalize how I’m feeling, the more I give myself space to feel it, and then let it go.

What is a moment you are most proud of?

Starting therapy a few years ago. It was hard but worth it. I’m so proud that I even took the first step in acknowledging that I needed help and sought it out. The conversation about mental health in the Black community still has a long way to go, but I’m proud of saying “I’m struggling” and doing something about it.

How do you celebrate yourself?

By booking a ticket and solo traveling. Since I’ve started traveling alone, I don’t think I can travel with a group again. It’s so much more fun!

What is something that you feel like you have to earn?

Rest. I feel like I have to check every box before I can be unproductive, even though I know it’s not true. I’m learning that rest is not a reward. But unlearning that guilt is taking me a really long time.

What is something you feel like you are inherently worthy of?

Love in all forms: platonic, romantic, familial. I give love the same way I know I am worthy to receive it.

Also, I’m inherently worthy of ordering something sweet after a good meal.

When was the last time you changed your mind?

Today. I was going to make an iced coffee, but decided to cut back on the caffeine and made a cup of tea instead.

Is there anything you wish you could take back?

Truthfully, no. I don’t live my life with regrets. I do what is best in the moment, say what I need to say, clarify if necessary, and pray that others receive it well. Everything that has happened was meant to be.

What does being true to yourself mean?

Making choices that are healthy and honest for you, despite what others have to say. I always tell myself that as long as the decisions I make are rooted in the betterment of myself, I am being true to myself.

When do you feel in control?

I feel in control when I’m doing things that feel aligned with who I actually am.

When do you feel out of control?

I feel out of control when I overextend myself, say yes out of guilt, or let fear make decisions for me.

Finish this sentence: It’s my life and…

I’m mostly just winging it.

BONUS: Tell me something good.

I just saw Doechii in concert with a friend, and it was AMAZING! Just dancing and having fun. It was a 10 out of 10 concert experience, plus a great time with my friend. Everyone needs to go see her perform live.