#412. menopause, man-o-pause & keeping your maiden name

Age: 59

Relationship Status: Single - Divorced

Occupation: Executive Literacy Coach

Astrological Sign: Libra

Describe your ideal morning:

I like to get up early. I make breakfast for the cat, take a shower, and then head to the yoga studio for a yoga class. Afterwards, ideally, I would go to Starbucks for tea and then run some errands.

What is the last thing you think about before going to sleep?

What is on my calendar for tomorrow.

If you could talk openly about any of the following ‘taboo’ subjects at a dinner party: politics, religion, money, or sex, what is one question you would pose to the table?

Depends on who is at the table: if it is a bunch of triple-trumpers, I would like to know how they justify voting for a person who is so thoroughly without a moral code. I would ask how they could feel that it is ok to support someone so obviously misogynistic. If it is friends, I would ask about sex in middle age, menopause, and manopause.

What is something you wish were taught in school? 

Financial literacy and how to wisely invest.

How do you define personal happiness?

For me, personal happiness is having enough money to pay my bills, being able to travel, and spending time with friends and family. It is knowing that my children are happy and healthy.

When do you feel most helpless?

I don’t anymore. I know that I have survived domestic abuse, emotional abuse, and financial hardships and still made it through.

What is something you are nostalgic about?

My early 40’s. I felt great in my body and about myself.

When does, or will, your life feel complete? 

I feel complete now. I am not lacking what I need. I have friends and family nearby, and I love my job.  

What is something you have forgiven, but will never forget?

I have forgiven myself for not speaking my truth and demanding better in relationships.  But I will never forget that I need to have a voice, and I do not need to shrink or sell myself short for anyone.

What is one decision that seemed small at the time, but completely changed the direction or course of your life?

Meeting my best friend.

What is something that comes easily to you?

Teaching.

What is the hardest thing you’ve ever done?

Walking away. Choosing myself.

Where is your favorite place on Earth?

Currently, the mountains in Arizona. Specifically Sedona. I love the energy there.

If you woke up tomorrow and were in charge of EVERYTHING, what would be the first thing you would do to make the world a better place?

Throw Trump in Jail forever, along with the rest of his cabinet and lackeys. But seriously, I would ensure that women and girls have reproductive rights. I would outlaw money from politics and promote matriarchal societies.

Finish this sentence: money can’t buy you happiness, but it can afford you…

Travel. Money allows you to explore the world and learn about others.

What is the best thing you have been gifted or purchased on your own within the last year?

I gifted myself the time and space to heal from a divorce. I was gifted love, understanding, and kindness from my friends who have embraced me, protected me, and allowed me the time and space to talk through my feelings. And I bought a really nice yoga mat when I finished my 200-hour Yoga Teacher Training.

If you could give a woman who is 10 years younger than you a single piece of advice, what would it be?

Don’t get married, and if you do, keep your maiden name and all your finances separate. Travel.

Is there anyone who knows everything about you?

My best friend and my sister.

If you knew that life was short, what is one thing you would do right now?

Travel overseas:  Europe, Asia, Greece, Croatia, London, Ireland, Thailand, and more.

If you knew that life was long, what is one thing you would do right now?

Save more money.

BONUS: Tell me something good.

I finally feel like me.  It’s been a long time since I was able to say that.  I am getting my confidence back.