#370. people pleasing, keeping promises & prioritizing mental health

Age: 30

Relationship Status: Single

Occupation: Executive Assistant

Income: $103,000

Astrological Sign: Libra Sun, Gemini Moon, Cancer Rising

If you had an extra hour each day, what would you do with it?

I would spend more time moving my body and being active. I keep telling myself I want to try new workouts, and on long days when I don’t have the time, I feel my body suffers most.

What is the best piece of advice you have ever received?

The best advice I’ve gotten is to “choose yourself first.” It sounds simple and cliché, but it’s easy to forget. Taking care of your own needs, setting boundaries, and honoring your values doesn’t make you selfish. It actually lets you show up as your best self in every part of life.

What is the worst piece of advice you have ever received?

“Other people have gone through worse.” I’ve always disliked this phrase, as it implies that someone else’s pain should minimize my own. I find it incredibly invalidating - everyone experiences hardship differently, and that doesn’t make any individual experience less real or painful.

When have you felt most accepted?

I’ve felt most accepted in moments where I could be completely honest about who I am, my flaws, my emotions, everything, and the people around me still treated me with kindness and understanding. It’s rare, but those moments make me feel truly seen.

Is there anything you are avoiding?

Taking care of my mental health. The last few years of my life have significantly changed (unfortunately, not for the best), and my mental health/quality of life have severely decreased. Every time I try to get an appointment, I end up cancelling because 1) the money, 2) I’m scared that if I follow through and it doesn’t work, I’ll feel helpless/like a lost cause.

Have you ever confronted a fear? How did it go?

When I was 18 years old and became super uncomfortable with my body, I finally found the courage to go to the gym even though I was always too self-conscious. Now it’s 12 years later, and I’m in the best shape of my life. It really is true that no one notices or cares what you’re doing at the gym; we’re all there for the same reasons.

What is one promise that you have kept to yourself?

Honestly, this question is kind of emotional for me because I haven’t always kept the promises I’ve made to myself. I’ve struggled a lot with setting boundaries and letting people take advantage of me. But realizing that has been a bit of a wake-up call, and it’s made me want to start showing up for myself more.

How do you cope with stress?

Going to the gym or taking a walk outside. Recently, I’ve been journaling my feelings, and it’s actually been super beneficial when I want to let off some steam.

What is a moment you are most proud of?

Leaving my abusive 3-year relationship and choosing myself for the first time. Even though it broke my heart in many ways, I knew that staying somewhere I wasn’t respected would have been the deepest form of self-abandonment.

How do you celebrate yourself?

I celebrate myself by taking moments to acknowledge what I’ve accomplished, no matter how small, and by doing things that make me feel good. like treating myself to something I enjoy. Lately, that’s been a good meal.

What is something that you feel like you have to earn?

I think I’ve always felt like I have to earn love and respect, rather than just being worthy of it as I am. It’s something that’s shown up in my relationships, where I overextend myself or try too hard to prove my value. I’m starting to realize that it shouldn’t have to be earned in that way, and I’m working on unlearning that mindset.

Is there anything you wish you could take back?

I’ve lost some really good people in my life because of the choices I made while I was in a relationship. I tend to lose my sense of individuality when I’m with someone and end up prioritizing the wrong things. It’s something I’ve had to reflect on a lot, and I’m trying to be more aware of it moving forward.

What does being true to yourself mean?

To me, being true to yourself means honoring your feelings, values, and boundaries even when it’s uncomfortable or goes against what others want. It’s about not losing yourself trying to please others and making choices that actually align with who you are, not who you think you should be. I’m still learning what that looks like for me, but I know it starts with being honest with myself.

Finish this sentence: It’s my life and…

I get to decide how I live it, what I value, and who I let in. I’m learning to prioritize myself, my happiness, and my boundaries because no one else can do that for me. I refuse to let years of abuse, self-abandonment, and poor choices define or ruin the rest of my life.

BONUS: Tell me something good.

I have a psychiatrist appointment this Friday, and I’m finally taking steps to take care of my mental health. Nothing changes if nothing changes, and I’m really proud of myself for starting this journey.