#315. supporting friends, shitty days & the sex drive of a frat boy

Age: 23  

Relationship Status: Insanely single  

Occupation: Assistant Account Executive  

Income: 50k  

Astrological Sign: Virgo  

How are you, really?  

I'm generally feeling good, which hasn’t happened in a long time. I would say 3/7 full days of the week I am confused (about something stupid probably), but it doesn’t scare me like it used to. It gets me excited. I’m not used to that, but it feels so good.  

What is the greatest change you’ve made this year? 

The biggest change I've made this year is how I view myself and the outcomes of things that I've no control over. I used to think it was always personal, but I’ve changed my mindset. I’ve learned that I don't always have control over what happens in the end, but I can control what I do. That was the biggest change I’ve made, and I am so proud of myself for it.  

What is something you hope never changes?  

Baseball in the summer (let's go Mets), my mom's matzah balls, and my humor.   

When do you feel most capable?  

When I genuinely feel hot, when I am given a big responsibility and I fucking kill it, or when I give a random act of kindness.  

How do you nurture yourself?  

No matter how shitty of a day I had, when I come home and I cook myself a nice meal, it fixes EVERYTHING for me. I let my mind drift when I cook, which is a wonderful distraction. As a result, the food is always at its best because it fuels my body and tastes super yummy.  

How do you nurture others? 

I cook for them. I also love to be a body double for people, I’m actually super good at it. Whenever a friend or family member is overwhelmed or just needs some support, I love being able to be in their presence and bring them a sense of peace even if nothing is said. 

Is there anything you wish you had said but didn’t?  

Maybe like, “Can I have your number?” to a cute guy on the subway. Besides that, I have the issue of not being able to shut up, so I usually say literally everything: a blessing and a curse. 

What is something that turns you on? 

White tee shirts, a hand on my lower back, eye contact, and matching my level of amazing flirting (I'm single cause no man has been able to keep up).  

What is something that turns you off? 

Talking to me like I'm a child or a dumb blonde.  

When was the last time you walked away from something that no longer served you? 

A few weeks ago. My best friend was fading into a haze of a HORRIBLE man, and I couldn’t stand by and watch her. Our friendship had been running on fumes, but either way, she wasn’t giving me what I needed in a relationship anymore. I will always be grateful for the friendship we shared in the long run.  

How often do you feel you achieve balance? 

Ummmm, I don't think I do, lol. It's okay, though.  

What is one risk you took that resulted in reward?  

I wouldn’t classify this as a “risk” but rather a bold step. I reached out to a girl I was best friends with in middle school, but we drifted apart in high school and lost touch in college. We got lunch sometime in January, and our friendship is so strong now. I’m so fucking grateful I sent that text and we got to reconnect.  

When do you feel most overwhelmed? 

When more than three people are telling me different things to do at once. At work, it can be really hard for me to take a second to breathe and get back to my usual way of organizing. But also, if I'm driving in the car with my family, and they're each telling me a different way to go, I want to cry.  

How do you move forward? 

First, I scream or cry. Then I have to talk to myself, but I can’t ramble on about it, as I usually do about everything. I try to distract myself by taking a hot shower, eating something, or talking to a friend on the phone. Once I take action on my thoughts, I try not to dwell on them, as what happened is in the past, and there is no way to change it.  

What is something that will always make you laugh?  

Me. I’m fucking hilarious.  

What is something that will always make you cry? 

Thinking of all the memories with my dog. He was the cutest boy, and I miss him so much. Also, when I think about how much love I deserve and will find in my next boyfriend.  

Have you ever been betrayed?  

1000000000 times yes. Hurts like hell but builds character. -10000/10 do not recommend but shit happens.  

I also want to note that it takes time and strength to build yourself back up from being betrayed. It feels harder each time, and it usually is, but it's a great feat to pick yourself up and brush the ashes off and keep going in your life. Keep going because you will kill it in the future and the betrayal can go fuck itself.  

What is your greatest temptation?  

I don’t know how to answer this. Probably sex because I have the sex drive of a frat boy, and I'm so touch deprived.  

What is one thing you feel is missing from your current life? 

I hate to say it, but a boyfriend OR A DOG!! I love my friends and family and everyone around me. I'm insanely grateful for and squeeze every drop of joy from it all. But I can’t have sex with my friends or look into their eyes and feel like I want to have their babies or cuddle with them at night. Sometimes, my friends and I will cuddle at night, though. Regardless, the other stuff would just be so weird. Dogs are so expensive, and that's the only thing holding me back.

What is one thing you can’t get enough of? 

Cake. God I fucking love cake.  

BONUS: Tell me something good.  

MY BEST FRIEND IS COMING TO VISIT ME SOON AND I AM SO EXCITED!!!!!