Age: 32
Relationship Status: Looking for him in the wild… wild west.
Occupation: Board Certified Behavior Analyst
Income: I think about how I want more money too often. Even right after a good raise. It’s never enough and I hate that about myself.
Astrological Sign: Taurus
What is your first thought every morning?
How tired am I? 10 more minutes of sleep or stopping for a Matcha at Wawa? (Don’t judge me for loving a gas stations matcha!)
What is something you do solely for you?
I’ve learned to go ahead and go to the new restaurant, the concert, plan the trip… alone. I think experiencing what I want and not waiting for a partner for these events is one of the best gifts I can give myself when I think of ways to spend my free time.
What is something you dread?
My parents getting older is something that is inevitable but it feels heavy. The emotional labor and financial portion of helping them through that phase of their life seems overwhelming.
What is something you are looking forward to?
The idea of figuring out who my husband will be one day is exciting. I feel like a young child fantasizing about meet cutes and anything that I’ve read in a book. I can’t wait to find out how it all works out. And one day it will. But sheesh some (okay… most days) I want to SCREAM because I’m tired of waiting.
When do you feel most accomplished?
When my initial response to something is the healthier version of myself and I reflect later on and say, “omg I didn’t even THINK about… [insert toxic coping mechanism].” It’s hard work learning the differences of compromising vs. people pleasing, your intuition vs. anxiety, and the need for rest vs. a depressive episode.
What is something you regret investing in financially?
When I was in my 20s, a smaller pair of jeans to “motivate me” to work out and eat less. I only buy the clothes that fit my body now. No one knows if it’s an 8 or a 12. Women’s sizing is fake anyways.
What is something you regret investing in emotionally?
Anytime I have abandoned myself to conform to someone else is something I regret.
What are three things you think are absolutely worth the investment?
(financially, emotionally, or time/energy-wise)
Therapy is the easy answer - it’s changed my life.
A Kindle - it’s saved me so much money to rent from the library through an app.
A walking routine - this is huge for my mental health. Even if I hate the heat in August.
When do you feel most creative?
Creativity doesn’t come easily to me.
How often do you compare yourself to others? When?
All. Of. The. Time. Currently I compare most about trips people take or the materialistic side of social media. Body comparisons aren’t as frequent anymore; my early 20s were tough. I try really hard to remember that I can pose my body to look better and so do so many other people.
What is one thing you’d like to thank your past self for?
So much. Little me would be so proud of current me. And I think she’d think I was one of the “cool adults” because of the life I’ve built myself. I think I’m most thankful for all of the pictures I’ve taken and the journal entries I can reflect on. Those 2 things really help keep the current in perspective- I may think things won’t get better but look, they have, and they will again.
What is one thing you believe about your future self?
I believe that when it’s all said and done, I will be happy with how everything turned out. What’s meant for me, won’t pass me by.
What is one thing you learned in childhood that you have now had to unlearn in adulthood?
I still am working on this but, I am not responsible for other people’s emotions. Little me used to try to be the best, most unproblematic child so I didn’t put more stress on adults around me. Expressing my needs, despite if someone had a bad day at work or is stressed about money, doesn’t make me a bad person.
Have you ever felt pure joy? When?
Some of my favorite moments in life have been with my best friend at concerts. We’ve been friends since we were in high school and we loved going to local shows around town. Now we make time to go to mega tours like the Chromatica Ball (Gaga) and the Renaissance Tour (Beyoncé). Something about singing with your best friend to your favorite artists, in outfits that you planned for months, and going back and sleeping at a hotel is just so fun.
What is something that would feel really good to get off your chest?
I don’t think I could be a mom because the emotional pressure I would put on myself, to make sure I don’t traumatize them beyond belief, would make me hate the process.
When do you feel most in your feminine energy?
This is my favorite feeling. I love having a good hair and makeup day with a new outfit that I’ve been saving to wear. I did the whole process while blasting pop music in the house, dancing and taking way longer to finish than I should, and taking a mirror selfie at the end to send to the group chat. Sometimes the getting ready is the most fun.
What is one interaction that changed your life?
10th grade Spanish class, first day, I met a guy and we immediately got separated because we were laughing too much together. He insisted on introducing me to one of his other friends, who goes to a nearby school, and the 3 of us became very close. But, she became like my sister (the same friend I wrote about going to concerts with). 17 years later, her kids now call me auntie and I’m there for holidays, dance recitals, etc. So many of my favorite memories involve one or both of them… all because I got in trouble for laughing.
What is something you want to give up?
Logical me says that I need to give up soda but sometimes there’s truly nothing better than a crispy (hot take…) canned Coca-Cola.
What is something you want to take up?
I want to be a morning and bedtime routine girlie so badly. I wish I woke up and made my bed every day and I wish I didn’t scroll my phone until I am ready to pass out.
What do you believe is a universal truth?
We’re all experiencing life for the first time. Kindness can change anyone’s day.
BONUS: Tell me something good.
You haven’t met all the people who are going to love you, you haven’t heard all of your favorite songs, or eaten your favorite meals, and you haven’t had all of your best days yet.
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