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Writer's pictureDevyn Penney

#67. beef tallow, tipping your servers & striving for joy




Age: 21

Occupation:  Server and Bartender.

Income:  40-45k a year (I live off of tips - tip your servers!)

Astrological Sign: Sagittarius Sun, Aquarius moon, Gemini rising.

 

What is the first thing you do when you wake up? 

Unfortunately, I usually smoke and check my phone—the two things successful people advise you not to do, lol. But then I usually make breakfast and coffee and chat with my roommate.

 

Have you ever felt genuine fulfillment? When? 

I honestly can’t think of one singular time that I have felt the most fulfilled, but rather situations and activities that make me feel fulfilled. Whenever I use my brain and critical thinking skills, I feel the most fulfilled, like winning a debate in school or solving a problem for myself or someone else at work.

 

What is your most repetitive, negative thought? 

I am not a good or intelligent person, and I will fail at what I pursue. I often have imposter syndrome of sorts, where I feel as though I don’t even know myself, and maybe there is something nasty and horribly wrong with me that only others see.

 

What is your most repetitive, positive thought? 

I am young, and I have time. I hear many people my age use this as an excuse to be lazy and bide their time away, but I mean it in the sense that I have my life stretching ahead of me and can make it what I want and be successful. That thought gives me a great sense of hope.

 

What is one thing that surprised you about adulthood? 

People are just people. I have seen adults of every age do things wrong, make poor decisions, and even doubt themselves and who they are at a much older age than myself. And that’s okay. As much as it shatters some childhood illusion that adults have it all figured out and have learned to be good people, it also gives me a sense of peace as a young adult that I don’t have to have it figured out because they don’t, and no one ever will 100%.

 

What are three things you want to put every woman onto? 

  1. Good female friendships - they will save your life!

  2. Make your own money. Save your own money.

  3. Beef tallow as moisturizer!

 

Rank the following from most to least important:

money, food, sex, love, and laughter (feel free to explain or don’t).

love, laughter, money, sex, food

What’s life without love? And what’s sex without love for that matter.

 

How has your relationship with your parents/ guardians changed in adulthood? 

A full 180. I was not very good to my parents for a large part of high school. I struggled with depression and anxiety, and I believe they didn’t know how to deal with the effects of that. I have been able to reflect in the past 3 years on what I did wrong, but also what they did wrong, and come to peace with it. After all, like I said, we’re all just people. I love my parents dearly. I don’t know where I would be without them.

 

When do you feel most like yourself? 

When I am engaging in meaningful and intelligent conversation. I love to debate, learn different perspectives, and just enjoy the presence of others. Put a glass of wine in my hand as a bonus (lol).

 

What is the best compliment someone has ever given you? 

That I am strong and confident. My mom always tells me this. My mom also always tells me that she is proud of me. That is the best compliment to receive.

 

How do you feel about falling in love? 

I don’t even know. Being as young as I am, sometimes I wonder if I’ll know when I’m in love. I almost feel like I can’t imagine what it will be like. I have been in various relationships with men, and loved and cared for them deeply, but was I really in love? I’m not sure. Looking back, I certainly hope that wasn’t love. And I don’t think it was. So I’m excited to find it someday.

 

What is one thing you’re sick of hearing?

People assume that my parents pay for my things/my livelihood! I moved out when I was 19 and have been financially independent since. And I’m proud of that! It’s taken a shit ton of work.

 

How often do you feel alone? 

Not often. I have wonderful friends and family around me. I also love spending time by myself. The only time I feel alone is when I am stressed, and don’t allow myself to seek help from others, from a place of pride.

 

What is one thing you hope everyone experiences in their lifetime? 

Freedom from fear. I think fear is the worst human experience there is. As someone who grew up with an abusive parent, I know the pain of fear and, almost worse, the pain of seeing fear in someone else you love. There is always a way out! And I hope those who are living in a state of fear can escape.

 

What is one thing you hope no one has to experience in their lifetime?

The feeling of not being loved or chosen by someone you love so much. It may feel like wasted energy on your part, but it’s not. Your goodness will be repaid. However, don’t waste too much of your love on someone who does not cherish it.

 

What is the best decision you’ve ever made? 

Rebuilding my relationship with my parents. I had to bridle my own pride and take a step back. I’m so glad I did.

 

When do you feel most at ease? 

In bed with my roommate, watching Sex and the City!

 

What does having a successful life mean to you? 

Feeling proud of myself and at peace with what I have accomplished. Whether that be in a relationship, a career, my children, etc. I want to raise good children. Loving, kind, intelligent, loyal, and hardworking. And I hope their father is an example of that.

 

How often do you think about your body? 

Wayyyy too often. I have days where I love it! And days where I despise it. But it breaks my heart how many women struggle with this. I try to remind myself that body neutrality is what I should aim for. I don’t have to love the way my body looks every day, I just need to accept it. It is what carries me through every day, and is just the shell for my heart and brain.

 

When do you ask for help? 

Oof. As infrequently as I possibly can. But honestly, when I am having car issues. My stepdad is the man to go to!

 

What is something you feel strongly about?

Happiness is not what we should strive for! Joy is. I want to have real joy, in other words, peace and contentment even when things aren’t going the way I would want.


BONUS: Tell me something good.

 I’m going to Miami this weekend with my girlfriends!

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