Age: 40
Relationship Status: Divorced
Occupation: School bus driver/lunch lady
Income: 45,000
Astrological Sign: Cancer sun, Aquarius moon, Capricorn rising
What is your first thought every morning?
This bed is perfect, and this is cruel. But I’m excited to see my kids. Also, sometimes, depending on my level of melancholia, I think about my brother. He passed away 7 years ago.
What is something you do solely for you?
My tattoos. They are fully for me, and I love them.
What is something you dread?
The dentist. I had an eating disorder for ten years, and I must go to the dentist more than I’d ever liked to.
What is something you are looking forward to?
Getting older. I have no qualms whatsoever about aging as a woman. Perhaps I’m completely wrong about this, but so far, I feel more and more free the more decades I accumulate, so I’m hopeful I’ll lose more of my chains to the idea of youth (and therefore the expectations) as I age.
When do you feel most accomplished?
When I set out to complete a task and I do it. I have ADHD, so starting and finishing anything, however big or small, is huge.
What is something you regret investing in financially?
Every cigarette I ever smoked. I loved every cigarette I ever smoked, but I cringe thinking about what I could’ve done with that money.
What is something you regret investing in emotionally?
What other people thought of me. Someone once said, “What other people think of you is none of your business,” I felt that hard.
What are three things you think are absolutely worth the investment?
(financially, emotionally, or time/energy-wise)
Your children’s education
You. You are the most important relationship you’ll ever have
Giving so much less of a fuck!
When do you feel most creative?
Unfortunately, after a colossal pain in my life.
How often do you compare yourself to others? When?
All mothers have this insidious competition and comparison game going with one another. I wish we could act according to what’s best for us all, rather than sneering in our individual corners.
What is one thing you’d like to thank your past self for?
For being strong enough to overcome things we thought were insurmountable at the time.
What is one thing you believe about your future self?
I will always be raising the right kind of hell.
What is one thing you learned in childhood that you have now had to unlearn in adulthood?
Your parents' inaction when others made you uncomfortable is their problem, not yours. The emotionally abusive and manipulative things said about you reflected their issues, not yours.
Have you ever felt pure joy? When?
Any time I’m swimming in the ocean, and I can feel my toes over the sand.
What is something that would feel good to get off your chest?
I fucking HATE that song, “Love Shack”.
When do you feel most in your feminine energy?
The moment I realize a man is completely enamored with me and I know that this can go any way I want.
What is one interaction that changed your life?
Many moons ago, I knew a former nun who officiated the wedding between my ex-husband and me. She noticed my habit of compulsively apologizing, and she said simply, “What are you always apologizing for? Don’t apologize for occupying space.” It shook me.
What is something you want to give up?
Disillusionment, as well as being delusional.
What is something you want to take up?
The piano.
What do you believe is a universal truth?
It is far more important to seek peace over happiness. Happiness is transitory; peace is a state of being.
BONUS: Tell me something good.
Most people are fundamentally good people.
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