Age: 31
Relationship Status: Married
Occupation: Business Analyst
Income: $91,000/yr
Astrological Sign: Leo
What is your first thought every morning?
“What time is it?”, usually related to getting my son to daycare on time.
What is something you do solely for you?
I get my nails done every two weeks. It doesn’t seem like much, but it makes me feel so pretty and put together when the rest of me isn’t.
What is something you dread?
Big financial stressors (trips, holidays, etc.), even when I’m objectively well equipped to handle it.
What is something you are looking forward to?
Counterintuitive to the prior question, but Christmas this year. My son will be almost 3 years old, and it just gets more and more magical each year.
When do you feel most accomplished?
When I watch my son learn to do something that I’ve been teaching him.
What is something you regret investing in financially?
A few years ago, when interest rates were low, we bought a home that was beautiful but didn’t have a great outdoor space and was far from family and friends. We let the temptation of living in that beautiful house win. It was great because we could afford something like that when interest rates were low, but we quickly regretted not buying something maybe less flashy but with more room to grow into indoors and outdoors. We’ve since sold that home and have bought a less nice home in a quieter area with more space and closer to family, but I wish we had done so when rates were still low. I really wish we had skipped the big fancy house for the place we’re in now.
What is something you regret investing in emotionally?
Trying so hard to get people to like me. It meant so much to me for a long time, but I’m so much happier now just being myself and letting the people I meet decide not to like me if they don’t want to.
What are three things you think are absolutely worth the investment?
(financially, emotionally, or time/energy-wise)
A home that you love, if you can swing it. And I mean that in terms of decorating and making your home work for what you need.
Your mental health. Take the time to treat yourself with the same care and attention you spend on others you love.
Nutrition. And I absolutely do not mean in a starving yourself type of way. I mean making sure you eat and enjoy vegetables and fruits and all of the good and amazing things there are to eat. Take the time to make a list of meals you know you’ll almost always want, things that are easy to prepare, and lean on those when you feel your worst. Eating to nourish your whole self, whether that be for a workout or a movie night, is worth the financial and time investment.
When do you feel most creative?
When I’m singing and/or dancing. I was a theater kid in a past life and music never fails to lift me up.
How often do you compare yourself to others? When?
A LOT but I wish I didn’t. The worst of it comes out when someone skinnier or prettier than me is around and I spend so much of my mental energy comparing myself. The recurring thought is “xyz would be so much easier/better if I looked like them”.
What is one thing you’d like to thank your past self for?
I’d like to thank her for feeling things so wholly and without shame. I love and have always loved the part of me that cries easily and laughs often and can understand how others feel when they do the same. I am so glad she didn’t let the world convince her to close herself off.
What is one thing you believe about your future self?
I’ll always be able to handle it. Whatever comes up, I can handle it. I have been through enough to know that things I never thought I’d have to endure are things I’ve gotten through anyway. So, whatever is next, I can handle that too.
What is one thing you learned in childhood that you have now had to unlearn in adulthood?
Ignoring my hunger cues to finish what’s on the plate. I spent a lot of my adult life trying to actually figure out when I was full or still hungry.
Have you ever felt pure joy? When?
Yes, oh my goodness. The joy is abundant since becoming a mom. Meeting my son, seeing him learn and grow, hearing him say an unprompted “I love you” for the first time and every time after. Children are amazing and teeming with joy. It is almost inexplicable the level of joy this tiny, wild boy has brought to me in just a few short years.
What is something that would feel really good to get off your chest?
My sex life kind of sucks right now and I feel really lonely in it. My relationship is otherwise really strong and we’re working on the physical aspect of it together, but when I try to talk about it with friends, they just can’t relate.
When do you feel most in your feminine energy?
1) all dressed up for a night out in my absolute favorite dress or
2) when I successfully accomplish a task related to motherhood, especially a difficult one
What is one interaction that changed your life?
Taking a job that led me to the city where I’d meet my husband :)
What is something you want to give up?
Negative rumination. I’d like to just have the negative thought and move on without stewing for a full business day lol
What is something you want to take up?
I want to get back into the theater world. It will probably just be unpaid community theater gigs, but I’d love to tap into that past life again.
What do you believe is a universal truth?
Everyone really is doing the best that they can. There’s obviously a lot of nuance, and people have different versions of “best” based on the circumstances of their lives, but I really believe that we are all doing the best with what we have.
BONUS: Tell me something good.
A lot of my answers have been mom-centric because I’m in the thick of it, and so this one will be too.
Having children is, by far, more incredible than I ever imagined. All of the hard things do not even compare to the joy, the love, and the sense of purpose I have now. I was unsure for years if I wanted children, and I thank god every single day I decided to have them (well just the one, for now).
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